August 2026

She sat down across from me and told me everything I needed to know before she said a word.

This was years ago, during my time as an executive recruiter. The candidate had a strong résumé: the right companies, the right progression, the right results. But she perched on the front edge of the chair like she was ready to leave. Her knee kept a quiet rhythm under the table. When I asked about her current role, she answered in polished, complete paragraphs. When I asked about her current manager, the paragraphs stopped. Three-word answers. Eyes to the left.

Her words said the move was about growth. Everything else said she was running from something.

I've interviewed literally thousands of people, and somewhere in those thousands of conversations I stopped merely listening to answers and started reading the person delivering them. How did they sit in the chair? Did they ask me questions to calibrate my interests before offering their own? Did the energy in the room shift when a certain topic came up? I do my best to stop short of judgment, but I notice. I'm not a psychologist or a neurolinguist, although my undergraduate degree was in linguistics and French. I study people: how they move, how they react to their surroundings, their energy. That's my secret weapon, my perception of energy. As someone who has been on a spiritual journey and meditated for decades, I am highly attuned to my own energy, and I've gotten good at picking up others' vibrational patterns.

Here's the thing: this was never just a recruiter's trick. It's a leadership capacity. And most leaders never develop it, because they've been trained to listen only to what's said out loud.

You're Getting the Rehearsed Answer.

Most of what people communicate at work is never spoken.

The direct report who says "everything's fine" while their shoulders say otherwise. The colleague who used to challenge ideas in meetings and has gone quiet - not thoughtful quiet, checked-out quiet. The team member whose camera is suddenly off more days than it's on. The one-on-one where the words are all status updates and the energy is somewhere else entirely.

We've been conditioned to trust the explicit: the survey score, the status report, the "any questions?" that gets silence which is taken as agreement. But people tell you how they're really doing long before they speak it in words, if they ever tell you in words at all. By the time something is said out loud, it has usually been true for months. The resignation letter is rarely news to anyone who was paying attention; it's only news to everyone who wasn't.

Your Silence Is Saying Something Too.

Before you turn this lens on your team, turn it on yourself, because this works in both directions.

Your people are reading you with more attention than you are reading them. They have to; you hold more power over their circumstances than they hold over yours. They notice the sigh before you answer. The pace of your reply when the news is bad. The difference between your "great work" that lands and your "great work" that's reflex. Words carry energy: the way you speak them, the speed, the emphasis, the sincerity is perceived and felt, often unconsciously.

So ask yourself honestly: what have you been saying without saying it? If your team described the message your energy has carried over the past month, would you want to hear it?

You Can Learn to Listen With Your Eyes.

I'm not suggesting you become an amateur mind-reader. Perception without care is just weak surveillance. What I'm suggesting is attention, in three moves.

First, establish the baseline. You cannot read a shift if you never learned the pattern. Quiet is not a signal from someone who has always been quiet; it's a flare from someone who hasn't. Notice how your people are when they're well: their pace, their humor, their posture in a meeting. That's the reference point everything else is measured against.

Secondly, ask the second question. "How are you?" retrieves the rehearsed answer. The second question retrieves the real one: "You've seemed a little different lately. What's going on?" People are rarely offended that you noticed. Far more often, they're relieved. Some have been waiting months for someone to ask.

Lastly, act on what you perceive. Noticing without following through is worse than not noticing at all, because now they know you saw, and chose to do nothing. You don't have to fix what you find. You have to be willing to hear it, hold it, and take it seriously.

You Already Heard It.

Somewhere on your team right now, someone is telling you something important without words. You've probably already sensed it: a flicker you noticed and filed away because the quarter is busy and the words all sounded fine.

That flicker is the truest data in the room. Leadership isn't only what you say. It's what you're able to hear, especially the things that were never said at all.

This week, pick one person whose signal has changed (the new quiet, the camera off, the energy that dipped) and ask the second question. Not to check a box. To actually find out.

I heard what you didn't say. Your people are hoping you will, too.

This fall, we're going deeper into the unspoken side of the workplace: the dynamics, the politics, the things everyone senses and no one names. I'll be hosting a live event where we take this conversation further, and the details are coming soon.

​Be the first to know when the doors open.​

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Sending love and light,

Ginny